Wake up!

A woman's broken heart lulled her into the sleep of death. Her heart stopped and her mind went dark. Her lack of oxygen choking out her thoughts, choking out her dreams, every thought went still. Help came. They helped her heart to beat. But it was too late. It was too late for her thoughts, her hopes, her dreams. 

She looked alive. Her skin pink with life. Her heart beating. But the light of life in her eyes had gone out. 

How many of us are walking around today..our hearts beating, but there is no light in our eyes? 

Zombies are such a sensation these days. The undead. Acting on their base natures. Stuck in some grotesque in between..not of their own choosing. They were bitten. This is who they are! There is no going back. They have no choice...do we? 

"The virus ceases all bodily functions and mutates the brain into an organ that does not need oxygen. Thus, the essentially deceased person will become the living dead, with an insatiable drive to consume human flesh. An already deceased human cannot turn into a zombie, and there is no cure once infected."  http://iml.jou.ufl.edu/projects/fall09/harris_m/anatomy.html

While this is strictly fiction-is it really? I don't know about you, but this could not sound more like the current state of humanity. A brain with no conscious thought, with an insatiable drive to consume fellow humanity. Appearing alive, yet dead.

“To the angel of the church in Sardis write: These are the words of him who holds the seven spirits of God and the seven stars. I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have found your deeds unfinished in the sight of my God.”

‭‭Revelation‬ ‭3:1-2‬ ‭NIV

If we look back. If we really strain our eyes...way way back...to the beginning... we will see it clearly. Adam and Eve took the bite. It seemed good, but it turned bitter quickly. And it has taken a bite out of every one of us. The curse..it took the light of life from our eyes. It stole our hope, our dreams. 

But we have a choice. We can either continue to believe the same lie the enemy has been saying from the beginning or we can allow THE LIGHT OF LIFE to come in. To illuminate our thoughts, our hearts, to empower us to rise above the base nature of our humanity. To make us alive. 

 "Jesus did not come into the world to make bad men good. He came into the world to make dead men live! 

Leonard Ravenhill

Leigh

Let the Redeemed of the Lord Say So

Standing in a circle with two women talking of the future...

One destined for a different mission field than she probably ever imagined. One destined for a new kingdom adventure not quite so far away. I stand there simply thankful to share my testimony with the women around me and whoever might click on this teeny little sliver of cyberspace.

We share with each other plans of what is next.

We share of the goodness of God.

We have each tasted and seen that He Is Good.

These women...who have seen me in a state of deep deception from the enemy...one of them who talked to me on the phone as I drove from Atlanta to Chattanooga in the midst of a full blown anxiety attack. One who pointed to me to Jesus, even when I didn't really want to see him, because I knew he would ask me to give him what I loved most - MY will. One who walked with me week after week as we shared our deepest hurts, our deepest fears, and our sweetest victories. 

As God takes us each on paths beyond our wildest dreams, my heart is overwhelmed.

One of the women says, "We are REDEEMED!" 

And we are.

Counting the Cost

In talking with a friend today, we were discussing the past...and how as humans we so often bargain with the sovereign God of the universe. 

Basically what it usually has boiled down to in my life is damage control. "Lord, I know I've really messed up here. I know you told me to go left and I went right, and then I walked for 6 years down the path taking every other left when you said right, but I've had a lot of time to think about this (6 years after all...) and I've come to the conclusion that if you just give me this one thing that I want, it would fix everything!"  (and yes, I do think in run on sentences)

And then the Lord does not give us what we want, because what we don't see is that it is actually killing us. Little by little, day by day, we die a little more...

We think we are saving time, pain, heartache, We think we know the cost...but we have no idea.

He's already told us the cost. The wages of sin is death. 

Bear with me friends...Maybe this interpretation is a little simple...but is it? 

1 Peter 5:8 says, "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

John 10:10 says, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." 

Why is it that we only ever count what is already spent??

Only the enemy could write a lie like that! Let's be honest...math isn't my favorite subject, but come on!? I've already spent 6 years making this mistake so instead of freedom, I'd like to serve a life sentence?!?!? 

I'm so angry at how effective his deceptions were!!! They almost cost me everything! I'm angry that my rebellion almost cost me my peace! My disobedience almost cost me my future!! 

The enemy might have cost me my past, but my future in Christ is PRICELESS. And it is already paid in full.

And yes, choosing Christ will cost our flesh everything it loves so much, but what a trade! Instead of anxiety, we are promised that when we turn to Him, He will guard our hearts and minds with peace that transcends all understanding (Phillipians 4:7). Instead of death, He gives life to the full! Only He can fill our emptiness. Our own plans never lead us to peace or life...only His. 

Are you believing a lie today? 

On Being Known

I've lived on this earth 31 years, and in the last few years I've prided myself on being real, transparent, and open. 

But today I find myself afraid. 

Friends, it is difficult to be known.

The closer I get, the tighter I cling to what little covering I have left. Closer inspection is more critical, right?

What if they don't like what they see? No one before has. No one before could ever find a reason to stay. The urge to run away, the urge to hide, the urge to be alone forever has never been stronger. I am so afraid.

But the Lord calls us to deeper intimacy: with himself, with others in the community of Christ, and with a partner on this earth if He brings it to pass. 

Lately it has seemed a little easier to be known by the Lord. I know that He sees it all and knows it all anyway. I guess I've finally figured out that I can be known by Him and still be loved....but humans...they hurt. 

There is no question that I prefer safety. I will never skydive unless my plane is crashing. I will never bungee jump. I have no desire to ride a motorcyle. I will never participate on Fear Factor. Even my 401k investment is conservative. I hate risk. I love My flesh loves predictability, safety, security, and comfort. Similarly, the Israelites looked back at their captivity in Egypt fondly...

See Exodus 14:11  They said to Moses, "Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt?" 

also Exodus 16:3  The Israelites said to them, "If only we had died by the Lord's hand in Egypt? There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death."

and finally Exodus 17:3  But the people were thirsty for water there, and they grumbled against Moses. They said, "Why did you bring us up out of Egypt to make us and our children and livestock die of thirst?"

Over and over and over again the Israelites spoke out of the fear of the moment. Over and over their flesh cried out for comfort, predictability, and safety...things our captor the enemy will afford us to keep us quiet, unmoved, and unchanged... Is our comfort killing us? Is it keeping us enslaved, unmoved, and fearful of stepping out in faith? Just like the Israelites we have promises made to us. They had a glorious destination, but fear kept them looking in the rearview mirror!

No risk, no reward? Counting the cost... Is it really worth it?

If our purpose in this vapor of a life is to bring God glory...what glory does He really get if we never step out in faith? 

So today, I will take a risk. I'll lay my safety, security, and comfort on the altar. I ask the Lord to consume my flesh: the part of my humanity that holds me back from full submission to His will for me. I'll pray that His will be done, especially when it overwhelms my flesh that will always battle for self preservation. The flesh that sweated blood in the Garden of Gethsemane, the flesh that was overcome once and for all on the cross. Praise be to God.

Leigh

Memory Lane

So I just took a long walk down memory lane... to a time before a little brother, braces, concealer, contacts, and knowing what photos would look like until developed. What possessed us to get double prints?!? "Yes please, I'd like 2 copies of that photo with my eyes closed and my hair standing on end!"

And what a roller coaster of emotions! From, "Aww to eww to whoa!" Life is funny...from my first day of life til now...I'm simply overwhelmed with emotion. How many days have I taken for granted? How many bad days did I think would never get better? How many great days did I think would never end? How many days did I wish for the tomorrows which I now inhabit?

From first days of school to graduation. From middle school friendships long gone, to prom night with high school friends...from the birth of a little brother to the death of a coworker and friend. We don't know how the day before us will shape the rest of our lives. Looking back helps me see more clearly why I can so confidently entrust all my days to my loving sovereign saviour Jesus...only He sees the story from beginning to end. Seeing my life woven together puts a lump in my throat...there is so much mercy and grace.

My life looks nothing like I pictured so many years ago, but I am so thankful for every person who helped me become the woman that I am today. I'm thankful for encouragement and enduring friendships. For seeing in me what I couldn't. For speaking life. For showing me what Jesus looked like. For showing me how to take risks. For letting me fail and loving me anyway. For those relationships that inspire me to love more selflessly.

Take some time to look back today. I pray you see the Lord's hand in your past leading to your present. But if you don't, that's something you could change today-and I can guarantee it would change your tomorrow too.

Leigh

Jars of Clay

Dear Friends,


Have we so quickly forgotten what we are made of? In a world telling us to be strong...we try so hard. We try so hard to hold ourselves together. We have panic attacks, autoimmune disorders, ulcers, chronic pain, depression...Why can't we do this on our own?

BECAUSE WE WERE NEVER MEANT TO FIND STRENGTH IN OUR FLESH.

WE WERE NEVER MEANT TO HOLD OURSELVES TOGETHER.

Once again we have believed a lie from the enemy that we don't need God.

But God remembers who we are:

             As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.  Psalm 103:13-14

            But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  2 Corinthians 4:7

I am convinced that the Lord allows brokenness into our lives in order to draw us to himself. In order to reveal our tremendous need for Him.



In God's Pursuit of Man, A.W. Tozer states:

           "It was to save Jacob from deceptive hope that God confronted him that night on the bank of the river. To save him from self-trust it was necessary for God to conquer him, to wrest control away from him, to take His great power and rule with a rod of love. "


I have found myself broken. Powerless. Crushed. And in those moments when I turned to the Lord-He strengthened me. The thing is, even when we have believed a lie of the enemy it doesn't have to be the end of the story. God will use the brokenness that results from believing the lie to draw us to Himself. Nothing is wasted.

          And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28

Finally, I just want to clear up any confusion. I am so tired of there being this hushed stigma about reaching out for help! I am so tired of no one wanting to be real! No one wanting to shed light on the fact that WE ARE ALL BROKEN! No one is really holding it all together! Do not believe this lie!!! When I found myself at my lowest, I finally conceded that maybe I couldn't pull myself up by my own bootstraps. Maybe there was a method to my madness...maybe there were some unresolved areas of my life that led me to make bad choices over and over again....So I went to a counsellor. This is not to say that I've got it all figured out now.. This is simply to say that we do not have to hide our need for community in this life.

Jesus did not walk this earth alone. Instead, He spent time in prayer and communion with the Father, and time walking with like minded men sharing meals, conversation, and ministry. He walked out the example of how we are to conduct our lives. Being brave enough to seek wise counsel is not weakness but strength. These days the Lord has blessed me with a Godly mentor who is willing to say the hard things to help me live a Godly life. I am so thankful.

Today I simply want to encourage you...If you are struggling- Please reach out. It's hard to help someone if you don't know that they are drowning. I am praying that you find the hope that is in God alone. I'm praying that you find the healing that only He can bring. Simply ask, and His Spirit will empower you to take the hard steps. Remember that this, "all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."

Leigh

You Have the Words of Eternal Life

"You do not want to leave too, do you?" Jesus asked the twelve.

Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life." 

John 6:67-68



Are there words to say when children die?

Is is possible to "understand"?

I. Can. Not. Imagine.

But here we are on this earth. We are so broken. We want answers. We want to know WHY? How?

Jesus, we need you now more than ever. How do I explain the hope I have? It doesn't mean that I understand. I just know that you are the only one capable of holding me together. I trust your plan. I trust the story that you've written. I'm honored to have one line, one word, one breath in your story.

Heal our hearts and hold us tight. Until we see you face to face...

Jesus. Our hope is in you.