Pastor Frank's sermon yesterday recalled yet another episode of the rebellion of humanity, this time at the building of the Tower of Babel. He brought to new light, at least for me, the fact that the post-flood survivors were acting in rebellion against God's express orders to, "...Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the earth." (Genesis 9:1) Instead they decided to settle down and fulfill their own selfish purposes. "Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves and not be scattered over the face of the whole earth." (Genesis 11:4) In a gracious act, God thwarted their plans and set them back on the plan he originally had for them...to continue their journey. It was an act that God seems to do daily, saving us from ourselves.
In my reading today, Exodus Ch 12-13 God's saving work was on behalf of the Israelites. In this instance he was rescuing them from their oppressive masters and intent upon bringing them into the Promised Land. The chapters I read contain the details of the Passover (the night the firstborn of all Egypt's animals and humans died as a result of the final curse against the Egyptians). But what it also speaks extensively of is remembrance: "This is a day you are to commemorate; for the generations to come you shall celebrate it as a festival to the Lord – a lasting ordinance." What Frank's sermon yesterday and my readings today speak to me is one overarching theme: The remembrance of God's rescue in our lives.
And so today, I remember. Lamentations chapter 3 was brought to my mind. It is such a fitting description of my life's journey. It details suffering of the people of Israel, but it is so representative of each of our lives when lived in rebellion:
1 I am the man who has seen affliction by the rod of the Lord’s wrath. 2 He has driven me away and made me walk in darkness rather than light; 3 indeed, he has turned his hand against me again and again, all day long.
4 He has made my skin and my flesh grow old and has broken my bones. 5 He has besieged me and surrounded me with bitterness and hardship. 6 He has made me dwell in darkness like those long dead.
7 He has walled me in so I cannot escape; he has weighed me down with chains. 8 Even when I call out or cry for help, he shuts out my prayer. 9 He has barred my way with blocks of stone; he has made my paths crooked.
10 Like a bear lying in wait, like a lion in hiding, 11 he dragged me from the path and mangled me and left me without help. 12 He drew his bow and made me the target for his arrows.
13 He pierced my heart with arrows from his quiver. 14 I became the laughingstock of all my people; they mock me in song all day long. 15 He has filled me with bitter herbs and given me gall to drink.
16 He has broken my teeth with gravel; he has trampled me in the dust. 17 I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is. 18 So I say, “My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the Lord.”
19 I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. 20 I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. 21 Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”
25 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; 26 it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. 27 It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young.
28 Let him sit alone in silence, for the Lord has laid it on him. 29 Let him bury his face in the dust— there may yet be hope. 30 Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him, and let him be filled with disgrace.
31 For no one is cast off by the Lord forever. 32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. 33 For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone.
34 To crush underfoot all prisoners in the land, 35 to deny people their rights before the Most High, 36 to deprive them of justice— would not the Lord see such things?
37 Who can speak and have it happen if the Lord has not decreed it? 38 Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that both calamities and good things come? 39 Why should the living complain when punished for their sins?
40 Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord. 41 Let us lift up our hearts and our hands to God in heaven, and say: 42 “We have sinned and rebelled and you have not forgiven.
43 “You have covered yourself with anger and pursued us; you have slain without pity. 44 You have covered yourself with a cloud so that no prayer can get through. 45 You have made us scum and refuse among the nations.
46 “All our enemies have opened their mouths wide against us. 47 We have suffered terror and pitfalls, ruin and destruction.” 48 Streams of tears flow from my eyes because my people are destroyed.
49 My eyes will flow unceasingly, without relief, 50 until the Lord looks down from heaven and sees. 51 What I see brings grief to my soul because of all the women of my city.
52 Those who were my enemies without cause hunted me like a bird. 53 They tried to end my life in a pit and threw stones at me; 54 the waters closed over my head, and I thought I was about to perish.
55 I called on your name, Lord, from the depths of the pit. 56 You heard my plea: “Do not close your ears to my cry for relief.” 57 You came near when I called you, and you said, “Do not fear.”
58 You, Lord, took up my case; you redeemed my life.
Today I remember the day I could not ignore You any longer. I remember the day I had a panic attack and knew that I either needed to go the hospital or the church. In my heart I knew that you were pushing me to you. The hospital would never be able to treat the cause of my panic. The cause of my panic was separation from you. The hopelessness of my life lived for my own selfish purposes. My life being lived to make a name for myself instead of for Your Name's Sake. In an act of Your Great Grace you were saving me from myself and for your great purpose.
Anyone who has ever suffered from a panic attack will agree that it is truly the "depths of the pit" aka: rock bottom. It is the moment where you can't lie to yourself or anyone else convincingly that you are "Fine". You are most certainly not "Fine" or anything close to it. But the benefit of the pit is this, "He comes near..."(Lamentations 3:57). His word says that, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalms 34:18) So today I remember His grace and mercy to me with a thankful heart. May his name be praised.
Amen
