Jars of Clay

Dear Friends,


Have we so quickly forgotten what we are made of? In a world telling us to be strong...we try so hard. We try so hard to hold ourselves together. We have panic attacks, autoimmune disorders, ulcers, chronic pain, depression...Why can't we do this on our own?

BECAUSE WE WERE NEVER MEANT TO FIND STRENGTH IN OUR FLESH.

WE WERE NEVER MEANT TO HOLD OURSELVES TOGETHER.

Once again we have believed a lie from the enemy that we don't need God.

But God remembers who we are:

             As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.  Psalm 103:13-14

            But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  2 Corinthians 4:7

I am convinced that the Lord allows brokenness into our lives in order to draw us to himself. In order to reveal our tremendous need for Him.



In God's Pursuit of Man, A.W. Tozer states:

           "It was to save Jacob from deceptive hope that God confronted him that night on the bank of the river. To save him from self-trust it was necessary for God to conquer him, to wrest control away from him, to take His great power and rule with a rod of love. "


I have found myself broken. Powerless. Crushed. And in those moments when I turned to the Lord-He strengthened me. The thing is, even when we have believed a lie of the enemy it doesn't have to be the end of the story. God will use the brokenness that results from believing the lie to draw us to Himself. Nothing is wasted.

          And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  Romans 8:28

Finally, I just want to clear up any confusion. I am so tired of there being this hushed stigma about reaching out for help! I am so tired of no one wanting to be real! No one wanting to shed light on the fact that WE ARE ALL BROKEN! No one is really holding it all together! Do not believe this lie!!! When I found myself at my lowest, I finally conceded that maybe I couldn't pull myself up by my own bootstraps. Maybe there was a method to my madness...maybe there were some unresolved areas of my life that led me to make bad choices over and over again....So I went to a counsellor. This is not to say that I've got it all figured out now.. This is simply to say that we do not have to hide our need for community in this life.

Jesus did not walk this earth alone. Instead, He spent time in prayer and communion with the Father, and time walking with like minded men sharing meals, conversation, and ministry. He walked out the example of how we are to conduct our lives. Being brave enough to seek wise counsel is not weakness but strength. These days the Lord has blessed me with a Godly mentor who is willing to say the hard things to help me live a Godly life. I am so thankful.

Today I simply want to encourage you...If you are struggling- Please reach out. It's hard to help someone if you don't know that they are drowning. I am praying that you find the hope that is in God alone. I'm praying that you find the healing that only He can bring. Simply ask, and His Spirit will empower you to take the hard steps. Remember that this, "all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."

Leigh

You Have the Words of Eternal Life

"You do not want to leave too, do you?" Jesus asked the twelve.

Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life." 

John 6:67-68



Are there words to say when children die?

Is is possible to "understand"?

I. Can. Not. Imagine.

But here we are on this earth. We are so broken. We want answers. We want to know WHY? How?

Jesus, we need you now more than ever. How do I explain the hope I have? It doesn't mean that I understand. I just know that you are the only one capable of holding me together. I trust your plan. I trust the story that you've written. I'm honored to have one line, one word, one breath in your story.

Heal our hearts and hold us tight. Until we see you face to face...

Jesus. Our hope is in you.

He Still Speaks

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." Phillipians 3:12

Isn't God ever so merciful? 

Aren't we ever proving ourselves so human?

In the morning we get up early. We do our best to study his word. We pray that he speaks. We pray that his will be done in our lives. And then as we drive to work, someone cuts us off in traffic...When we get to work that one person presses all of our "buttons". And we feel like a failure before 10am.

And yet every day his mercies are new. 

Every day the sun rises proving his promises are true. That we are not alone. A new chance.

Even on the days that don't feel like a win; he is still on the throne. We can still trust his goodness. 

And He still speaks. 

The God of the Universe speaks to our hearts. And I don't know if you've found this to be true, but in my experience he doesn't just say things once and hope I understood. 

He speaks over and over and over again.

Thank goodness. (As an aside, his words spoken to our heart will never contradict his words in scripture.)

And because of his words to me. I write these. Today I really don't feel like I have much worth saying. 

But I will say this: I am thankful.

I'm thankful that his grace is sufficient for me, for his power is made perfect in my weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

I'm thankful that while 2015 was a year of pain, struggle, and brokenness. He taught me how to lean on him like I never have. 

I'm thankful for every blessing that he has brought me in 2016. He has redeemed so many things. He has healed my heart in places where I didn't even know that it was broken. 

I'm thankful that through it all he taught me that his plan is better. It will Always be better. And my prayer is that every day his will is done. In spite of my weakness. In spite of my failure.

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws." Ezekiel 36:26-27

What are you thankful for today?

As I was reading back through my journal as I sometimes do, I came to my thoughts from Easter 2016. I feel compelled to share them today:

Loving God my Father through your son, my savior Jesus Christ, I am so thankful for your sacrifice. Even though you explained everything as plainly as you could, our human minds couldn't fathom the plans you had. I cannot imagine the devastation when you, the hope of the world, were laid to rest in the cold tomb. Your bloody lifeless body, limp with the weight of the flesh on your bones. Your humanity overcome by sin that wasn't yours. How shallow of us when we complain that life isn't fair.

What spoke to me the most today was that for your followers, their hope was gone. Literally dead. Every dream and vision they had of how you were going to save Israel, gone. What were they going to do? So, they hid. They went back to fishing, back to what was familiar and safe.

But then you rose...That wasn't in their script. They weren't counting on that. How could their humanity fathom that? Though he had raised dead in his earthly ministry...Shouldn't they be a little more used to the impossible happening? But sometimes we believe the lies of the enemy. Sometimes all seems lost. Our hopes dead. But did our dreams ever line up with his words? Did theirs? Or did we just choose to believe our own delusions? You'd think we'd learn not to put God in our box of tiny dreams... He's so much bigger. His plans much grander than anything we could imagine.

So today, on this Easter Sunday, when we remember you doing the impossible, let us surrender our dreams to you. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, " declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts..." (Isaiah 55:8-9) Our hope is ever in you. "Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." (Psalm 73:23-26)

Leigh

Remembrance:

Pastor Frank's sermon yesterday recalled yet another episode of the rebellion of humanity, this time at the building of the Tower of Babel. He brought to new light, at least for me, the fact that the post-flood survivors were acting in rebellion against God's express orders to, "...Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the earth." (Genesis 9:1) Instead they decided to settle down and fulfill their own selfish purposes. "Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves and not be scattered over the face of the whole earth." (Genesis 11:4) In a gracious act, God thwarted their plans and set them back on the plan he originally had for them...to continue their journey. It was an act that God seems to do daily, saving us from ourselves.  

In my reading today, Exodus Ch 12-13 God's saving work was on behalf of the Israelites. In this instance he was rescuing them from their oppressive masters and intent upon bringing them into the Promised Land. The chapters I read contain the details of the Passover (the night the firstborn of all Egypt's animals and humans died as a result of the final curse against the Egyptians). But what it also speaks extensively of is remembrance: "This is a day you are to commemorate; for the generations to come you shall celebrate it as a festival to the Lord – a lasting ordinance." What Frank's sermon yesterday and my readings today speak to me is one overarching theme: The remembrance of God's rescue in our lives.  

And so today, I remember. Lamentations chapter 3 was brought to my mind. It is such a fitting description of my life's journey. It details suffering of the people of Israel, but it is so representative of each of our lives when lived in rebellion:  

1 I am the man who has seen affliction     by the rod of the Lord’s wrath. 2 He has driven me away and made me walk     in darkness rather than light; 3 indeed, he has turned his hand against me     again and again, all day long. 

4 He has made my skin and my flesh grow old     and has broken my bones. 5 He has besieged me and surrounded me     with bitterness and hardship. 6 He has made me dwell in darkness     like those long dead. 

7 He has walled me in so I cannot escape;     he has weighed me down with chains. 8 Even when I call out or cry for help,     he shuts out my prayer. 9 He has barred my way with blocks of stone;     he has made my paths crooked. 

10 Like a bear lying in wait,     like a lion in hiding, 11 he dragged me from the path and mangled me     and left me without help. 12 He drew his bow     and made me the target for his arrows. 

13 He pierced my heart     with arrows from his quiver. 14 I became the laughingstock of all my people;     they mock me in song all day long. 15 He has filled me with bitter herbs     and given me gall to drink. 

16 He has broken my teeth with gravel;     he has trampled me in the dust. 17 I have been deprived of peace;     I have forgotten what prosperity is. 18 So I say, “My splendor is gone     and all that I had hoped from the Lord.” 

19 I remember my affliction and my wandering,     the bitterness and the gall. 20 I well remember them,     and my soul is downcast within me. 21 Yet this I call to mind     and therefore I have hope: 

22 Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,     for his compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning;     great is your faithfulness. 24 I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;     therefore I will wait for him.” 

25 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,     to the one who seeks him; 26 it is good to wait quietly     for the salvation of the Lord. 27 It is good for a man to bear the yoke     while he is young. 

28 Let him sit alone in silence,     for the Lord has laid it on him. 29 Let him bury his face in the dust—     there may yet be hope. 30 Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him,     and let him be filled with disgrace. 

31 For no one is cast off     by the Lord forever. 32 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,     so great is his unfailing love. 33 For he does not willingly bring affliction     or grief to anyone. 

34 To crush underfoot     all prisoners in the land, 35 to deny people their rights     before the Most High, 36 to deprive them of justice—     would not the Lord see such things? 

37 Who can speak and have it happen     if the Lord has not decreed it? 38 Is it not from the mouth of the Most High     that both calamities and good things come? 39 Why should the living complain     when punished for their sins? 

40 Let us examine our ways and test them,     and let us return to the Lord. 41 Let us lift up our hearts and our hands     to God in heaven, and say: 42 “We have sinned and rebelled     and you have not forgiven. 

43 “You have covered yourself with anger and pursued us;     you have slain without pity. 44 You have covered yourself with a cloud     so that no prayer can get through. 45 You have made us scum and refuse     among the nations. 

46 “All our enemies have opened their mouths     wide against us. 47 We have suffered terror and pitfalls,     ruin and destruction.” 48 Streams of tears flow from my eyes     because my people are destroyed. 

49 My eyes will flow unceasingly,     without relief, 50 until the Lord looks down     from heaven and sees. 51 What I see brings grief to my soul     because of all the women of my city. 

52 Those who were my enemies without cause     hunted me like a bird. 53 They tried to end my life in a pit     and threw stones at me; 54 the waters closed over my head,     and I thought I was about to perish. 

55 I called on your name, Lord,     from the depths of the pit. 56 You heard my plea: “Do not close your ears     to my cry for relief.” 57 You came near when I called you,     and you said, “Do not fear.” 

58 You, Lord, took up my case;     you redeemed my life. 

Today I remember the day I could not ignore You any longer. I remember the day I had a panic attack and knew that I either needed to go the hospital or the church. In my heart I knew that you were pushing me to you. The hospital would never be able to treat the cause of my panic. The cause of my panic was separation from you. The hopelessness of my life lived for my own selfish purposes. My life being lived to make a name for myself instead of for Your Name's Sake. In an act of Your Great Grace you were saving me from myself and for your great purpose.  

Anyone who has ever suffered from a panic attack will agree that it is truly the "depths of the pit" aka: rock bottom. It is the moment where you can't lie to yourself or anyone else convincingly that you are "Fine". You are most certainly not "Fine" or anything close to it. But the benefit of the pit is this, "He comes near..."(Lamentations 3:57). His word says that, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalms 34:18) So today I remember His grace and mercy to me with a thankful heart. May his name be praised.  

Amen